Disorientated and Waiting

Whilst my life is a very happy one I am feeling rather in limbo. My life has been turned upside down for a couple of months. It started with Mr P going off on sabbatical for three months.  So much of my life is tied up with the church, they are my family and it seems rather strange not to be there - not there to care or look out for them. We are shepherds, trained to do that and it is very hard to give up that role for three months. I've temporarily lost a hat. I guess you don't just stop caring.

Usually at this time of year we are booking up a ferry to go to France for our annual holiday, but we are not going this year. Reason being that we are wanting to be around for the birth of our three grandchildren.

Strange how I have come to like the every day routines in my life - the pattern/flow. Sorry I'm not good with words -apologies if I am not making sense. So my body feels out of sorts. And now it is eagerly waiting the arrival of my first grandchild. It is due this coming Monday, but you all know what babies are like - come when they are ready not when we are! Every time any phone rings or I get a text message I am wondering is this the moment! Tonight I called and my son in law answers the phone to say they are just going out and will call later. But after a couple of hours I'm in a panic! What am I like! I end up texting them both to check all is ok - poor them they'd just popped out to see someone! This is all new to me - is this behaviour normal? Do other mums worry about their children having children.

And then I am soooo excited - can't wait to see my first grandchild, no one knows the gender so that's exciting too. In the spare room the baby gear is beginning to mount up as I wait.

Well it is time for this confused blogger to go to bed. Good night from an exceptionally hot UK.