Conspiracy Theory

Yesterday was one of those days when I should have never got up and just stayed in bed. It started off with the alarm clock and the bed working against me. Just as I roll over to continue sleeping and get even snugger under the quilt - the alarm clock rings! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I am sure the bed and clock are working together. They must be as it happens quite often! Surely it must be true. It's a conspiracy.

Ok so I get up and then I go downstairs to hear something ringing every 30 seconds. I hunt around for where the noise is coming from and eventually track it down inside a cupboard. The burglar alarm panel is bleeping and a warning sign being displayed. Oh no what do I do? I try to reset it but this sets the alarm off. Fortunately I remember the number to get rid of the hideous noise. I've turned the alarm off but the bleeping is still continuing. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. I hunt for a phone number to call the company but there is not one on display, go outside to look at the box but still no number. You may be asking where was Mr P was he still asleep - no he's up in Northumberland. So I decide I need to give him a call in order to get the alarm company's number.  Pick up the mainline phone and it has finally decided to stop working and just give off a whole load of crackles and no dialling tone. The phone had been playing up on Sunday but come Monday it did not seem too bad. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.  Surely this is another conspiracy alarm and phone ganging up. Oh whilst all the drama has been unfurling the bleeping decides to stop and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Now this is when I go stupid and I go to Argos - oh after having got dressed to buy another phone. By the time I arrive there Mr P has finally woken up to answer my call from my mobile. He then says - "well how do you know it's the phone that's not working rather than the BT line?" Oh how thick am I? I never thought about BT. So after some deliberation I bought a phone - knowing that later on I would be working near Argos and could always return the phone. Well the next AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH happened. I went to the booth to place my order and pay but the receipt never came out! I had to go hunting for an assistant and they seem to know you are coming as they all run away! Eventually I manage to net one when they weren't looking. You can guess what the next AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH is can't you? It wasn't the phone - it was the connection!

Mr P arranged for a BT engineer to come next Monday after we ran through some checks. I then went on my merry way to work to be greeted with a receptionist telling me they have not got a room for me and the spare rooms were full. It was at this stage when I wanted to burst into tears but managed to control myself and a room amazingly got sorted. Phew! After work took the new phone back to Argos who were kind and understanding:)

Arrive back home to hear the bleeping again. But this time I now have the number to call and a kind engineer managed to help me through the panel with some of their magic passwords and get it temporarily sorted till next Monday when they too will becoming to fix the alarm.

By this stage I actually felt afraid to touch or do anything. I went for a swim, afraid I might have an accident. I know that sounds ridiculous but that's how I really felt. No - I swam, felt much better. Cooked myself a mild curry, did some crafting, watched masterchef and a nice murder and toddled off to bed to wake up to a much much better undisastrous(new word!), non conspiracy day!